Bullying

Bullying is a serious problem that many children and youth may experience today. It can occur anywhere, and research shows that there are no differences in rates of bullying for urban, suburban, or rural communities.

Definition: Generally bullying involves the following components:

Imbalance of Power: the bully uses their power to control or harm others who are less able to defend themselves
Intent to Cause Harm: the bully’s goal is to hurt or harm others
Repetition: repeated incidents of bullying typically occur to the same person by the same individual or group

Although most everyone, at some point in their life has heard of, witnessed or experienced an episode “bullying”, it should not be considered a “normal” part of growing up and it is important to not underestimate the lasting effects bullying may have.

Individuals that are bullied tend to be at greater risk for depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and health complaints that can last into adulthood. In addition they show a decrease in school participation and attendance as well as academic achievement.

Bullying occurs in a variety of ways, which may include:

Verbal: teasing; name calling; threatening
Physical: any type of aggressive physical contact; hitting, pushing, taking belongings, etc.
Social: deliberately excluded or ignored; false rumors spread
Psychological: stalking and intimidation
Cyber: false, inappropriate or threatening statements made via social media, chat rooms, mobile phones/texting, email, etc.

Some children and youth in foster care may be especially vulnerable to being bullied. The following risk factors may be a common experience for some children and youth in care and therefore may put them at greater risk:

Generally, children, adolescents and young adults who are bullied have more difficulty getting along with others and therefore are less popular and have fewer or no friends. They also tend to experience more anxiety, depression, and low self esteem and do not conform to gender norms.

Risk Factors of LGBT Bullying

While the warning signs and effects of bullying for LGBT individuals are often the same, some LGBT children, youth, and young adults may be at greater risk than their heterosexual peers to experience difficulties such as bullying, teasing, harassment, physical assault, and suicide-related behaviors.

It is important to connect LGBT youth with specific supportive resources for LGBT individuals. See “Intervention & Prevention” for further information.

It is not uncommon for children and youth feel embarrassed or ashamed about being bullied, and therefore they often do not tell others, including parents, what is occurring.

Due to the behavioral signs of being bullied being very similar to the symptoms of abuse, trauma, separation and loss experienced by children and youth in foster care, it may be more difficult for foster parents to recognize possible signs that their foster child or youth is being bullied.

These signs may include loss of interest/poor performance in school, spending less time with friends, changes in eating/sleeping patterns or mood; physical complaints, self-blame, self harming behavior or suicidal thoughts, etc.

Other more apparent signs of being bullied may include: unexplained injuries, damaged or missing belongings, sudden decrease in friends, avoiding/afraid of school or certain places or activities with peers.

Prevention & Intervention

Communicate: Listen and talk openly with children and youth in your care on a regular basis and validate their feelings and experiences. They will be more likely to come to you when a problem arises.
Learn from your child or youth what occurs at school both in and outside the classroom. Educate children and youth about bullying; what it is and how to seek help from a trusted adult.
Enforce anti-bullying rules at home: Provide limits and consequences for fighting, intimidation or excessive teasing amongst children in the family.
Teach pro-social behavior, particularly with younger children: “The Golden Rule” of treating others as we wish to be treated, modeling kindness and playing fair, and helping children to develop empathy for others.
Teach assertiveness skills: How to say “no”, problem solve, and avoid unnecessary conflicts
If you suspect or are told that bullying is occurring:
Talk with your child or youth: Express your concern; make it clear you will help and that it is not their fault. If they informed you directly, commend them for having the courage to disclose it.
Discuss strategies for handling the bullying: Talk about what they have tried already; discuss ideas such as staying in a group, walking away, telling the bully to “stop”, identifying a nearby trusted adult for assistance. Discourage “fighting back” or using “bullying techniques” to seek revenge.
Work with the school: Know the school policies about bullying. If is it occurring at school, stay in regular contact with the teacher(s) and school administrators in order to work together to develop a plan to stop the bullying.
Be persistent: Check in regularly with your child or youth about the bullying. Also regularly talk with your Aspiranet Social Worker. Discuss with your Aspiranet Social Worker the possibility of seeking the assistance of a counselor, law enforcement or child’s attorney should the bullying continue or worsen.

Specific resources for LGBT children, adolescents and young adults may include:

Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG)
Local LGBT student groups and Gay-Straight alliances
Local LGBT support groups and community centers

The Trevor Project: The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LBGT teens and young adults by providing resources and a nationwide, 24-hour hotline. 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

It Gets Better Project: Thousands of people across the country have submitted videos to inspire and encourage LGBT teens and young adults who are struggling. Videos are available at ItGetsBetterProject.com

Sources: