At the age of 12, Nai was removed from her family of seven siblings and placed in a foster home. At the time, Nai (the second oldest child) and her older sister were caring for their younger brothers and sisters as her parents were usually absent. Being placed in foster care was extremely difficult for the siblings, who were separated and sent to live in different counties. Nai had become used to serving as caretaker for her younger siblings, and spent the first couple of years in foster care worrying about her brothers and sisters. Visitation opportunities together were rare, and over time Nai became resentful of and disappointed in her parents for being unable to “put the family back together again.” She had a very difficult time dealing with the fact that what she had viewed as a temporary placement in foster care would be a permanent state of reality until her coming of age at 18 years old. This was a devastating realization for Nai.

One of the greatest challenges Nai faced as a teenager in foster care was coming to terms with her identity as a foster child. Her school peers viewed her foster child status as a negative trait which made it really hard to trust her friends who would shy away from her when she opened up to them

“I felt really alone… I didn’t feel that I could talk to anyone as I didn’t know anyone else in my situation.”

In fact, Nai started to keep her foster kid identity from friends until her junior year of high school when she finally felt comfortable enough to share her story with others. Her change in attitude was largely due to her placement in a healthy foster family environment.

Nai lived in two foster homes until her final placement with a supportive and loving foster family. At first, it was really difficult for her foster family as they were not sure how to emotionally connect with the quiet and reserved teen. Nai explains that it was just very difficult for them to understand what she was going through. But, her foster parents supported her as much as they could, and encouraged her to become involved in school academics and sports to keep her active and busy.

The turning point for the family came one day when Nai was sent to her middle school’s principal’s office for wearing a sleeveless shirt. The principal called Nai’s foster mom to come to the school for a meeting.

Nai recalls, “When my foster mom arrived at the principal’s office, she said, ‘My daughter hasn’t done anything wrong.’  She backed me up and supported me.” It was then that Nai realized that her foster mom would, “always be there for me and support me.”

In looking back at her years as a teen in foster care, Nai remembers that her foster parents showed her unconditional support and caring.

“They made me feel like an equal in their house. They treated me right.”

Together, Nai and her foster sister (her family’s biological daughter) would do chores as household duties were shared equally. Her parents made sure to treat her as one of their own children, doing whatever they could to make her feel a part of their family – even introducing her as their own daughter. Nai remembers their extreme willingness and availability to help her with her homework – her father with math and her mother with arts and crafts projects.

Nai points out that her foster parents’ commitment and support was crucial during her formative teenage years when she found herself changing in so many ways.

“[My foster parents] showed me the positive side of going to school, and supported me in my career choices.”

Nai found herself motivated by their positive encouragement both in school and on the playing field, where she developed her teamwork skills and slowly learned to trust others. Being given the opportunity to really be a kid after having had the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings opened her up to doing teenage “stuff” such as hanging out with friends and getting involved in extracurricular activities.

Having been an introverted teen, Nai’s foster parents also worked to instill in her the importance of expressing herself and standing up for her opinions and beliefs.

“They always played a big role in my life, and encouraged me to be a more open person… a more outspoken person.”

Nai believes that this encouragement made her stronger in comparison to her initially shy and soft spoken personality.  Now, Nai stands up for what she believes in and speaks out.

At the age of 23 and out of foster care for five years, today Nai is studying to become a pharmacist at Stanislaus State University. When asked if she still has a relationship with her former foster family, Nai responds, “I’m definitely still really close to them. I visit them on holidays… I still call them mom and dad. They’re always there to support me.”

Nai advises potential and current foster parents to encourage teens in their care to be the best that they can be and to do things that will affect their lives positively.

“Every kid is different, so try to support them in what they want to do. [My foster parents] really tried to help me out as much as they could. I’m really thankful that I got placed in foster care as I might have otherwise been in a much worse situation with my education and in terms of becoming a successful individual.”